WORKING-CLASS HERO -- OF THE INTELLECTUAL AND LITERARY WORLD

THE END OF MY

JOURNEY AS A

LONELY DRIFTER


Yes, I did drift through this postmodern world for a while -- in fact, for quite a long while! But, please, what can I do? What could I have done? (Then?)

Now, I am almost out of the dark (cell of life). I can see the light! I am no longer divided! I am able to be whole once again! I am synchronised and in harmony with almost all aspects of my being -- and with my status as a man, citizen and writer! And that's something -- for someone, an unrepentant but struggling modernist writer to have arrive at!

Well, I didn't choose to have all these good "friends", "family members", relatives", "schoolmates", "classmates", "colleagues" and friendly "acquaintances"! (And, yes!, even good and able "leaders" too!) And I was like a pawn, a plaything, a toy, a puppet, and almost a figurehead too! They pitted me against each and every one of these soulmates of my life and I came out of such encounters and meetings like a goon!

Now, at this moment -- after being liberated from my life-long imprisonment (with a celebration one-man party at Queenstown Remand Prison to boot!), I want to ask these fucking bastards -- the invisible (and, for a long time, almost anonymous) listeners and talkers and "controllers" (of my sad and miserable life!) this question: Do you still want to take me for a goon? (Take a chance? You mean, pretend I'm being honoured and compensated by the contrite and enlightened (at last!) authorities -- with plenty of sex and silence? Or what?

I will NOT, big, big fucking EGOs, forego my own chance now -- yes, the opportunity and the challenge come together (ask President Hu Jintao of the People's Republic of China!) -- to become, yes, succeed, finally, as a writer of published (printed -- yes, I have to qualify that!) BOOKS and magazine articles (or essays)! I will remain firm, resolute, clear, definite, convinced and fully energetic in my ambition to achieve such a professional goal -- AS A WRITER!